Talking Story with Say Leadership Coaching

The real meaning of Christmas

"Mary Did You Know" By Mark Lowry (wrote lyrics) & Buddy Greene (wrote music)

Just listened to this at Robert's Middle Zone Musings, and as I commented for him there, I first heard this song sung by Clay Aiken and fell in love with it instantly. Did not know who had written it until now, and it is always so extraordinarily special to hear a favorite mele (song) done by the composer. Such heart and emotion, such aloha. The perfect listen for my Christmas Eve morning.

Another powerful version can be seen here:
"Mary, Did You Know?" By Mark Lowry (with David Phelps & Guy Penrod)

Do click over to Robert Hruzek’s post today as well, for some wonderful Christmas Day musing as only Robert can do!

Mary, Did You Know?

Here’s the thing, y’all. About 2,000 years ago, an otherwise unremarkable woman named Mary gave birth to an incredibly remarkable baby named Jesus - and the truth is, the world just ain’t been the same since! (On a side note, I always used to wonder - when Mary first looked down at the newborn child she tenderly held in her arms… did she really know who He was? I think, perhaps, she did.)

Now, you may or may not feel like that particular event was a good thing or a bad one for the world. Hey, that’s OK! I like to think it’s a free world, and most folks can pretty much think what they like, y’know? But that’s not really my point.

Nope; my point is, when you get right down to it, the real meaning - and I’m talkin’ ‘bout the genuine, indubitably downright incontrovertible meaning - of Christmas is, it’s the day we celebrate the birth of the Son of God, Jesus Christ.

It’s as simple as that. Really.

~ Robert Hruzek

Calvin’s Mamaki Tree ~ One month later

Mamaki is native to no other place in the world but Hawai‘i, and is best known for its refreshing herbal tea and medicinal uses. Leaves can be eaten raw or cooked, and the mamaki bark was used by the Hawaiians of old to make Kapa (cloth).

I brought home a mamaki seedling in the beginning of May, telling of the story connected to it over at Managing with Aloha Coaching.

...Max explained about a hundred seedlings he had brought for us to take home, one by anyone with space to plant them, for they would indeed become trees. He explained the difference between four different types, each for a different climate and elevation, each with a story of how the Hawaiians had used them and honored them.

These were facts we were all certain Calvin would have known of too— and then some. It would be a legacy that Calvin would have wanted, to simply have trees that will continue to grow with his belief that they are good for us.

I was awestruck in that moment.

“To just have trees continue to grow.”

Legacy enough for a man who within all his justifiably proud knowledge had remained as humble as a man can get. Though man can sometimes help, trees grow because of God and because of Mother Nature, and because of the life stored within them. Ultimately that is what Calvin really knew, and he was fine with that. Calvin lived serving them all; God, Mother Nature, and that plant, and through them, all of us.

Calvin lived within a degree of humility that I may never be able to achieve.

The Koaia was another of the trees Max told us about, and it is quite rare. This is the only one I have seen growing in Waikōloa; I would have never noticed it without hearing the reverence Max had for it!
Click for a larger view.

The full story is at MWAC: Calvin’s Mamaki Tree

Hiki nō: What I Can Do to remind myself of the lessons in humility I still have to learn, is to take the very best care of that mamaki tree! It will remind me gently, and beautifully, every time I step into my garden.

One month later, I am very pleased to share a few photos of how my mamaki is doing. These were taken yesterday afternoon:

New shoots along the main stem, telling me the roots are happy! The other green leaves are of the cilantro (Chinese parsley) I have also seeded in the same large pot... they seem to give the mamaki seedling tree-trunk-to-be a fairly effective wind-break of sorts for now, and they seem keep leaf-chomping bugs away too.



Seem to...seem to... a gardener I am not!
I prefer to think that Calvin is helping me somehow :)



If you would like to use these photos,
please comply with these Creative Commons Guidelines.
Mahalo!

Thanksgiving Blessings and Aloha

I have always loved November, for it is a beautiful month of thoughtfulness and reflection.
Nānā i ke kumu; it is a month which seems to exist just so we can be reminded to look to our sources of well being, sources rooted in the basic simple goodness of aloha.
November encourages our intentional practice of appreciation, gratitude, and thankfulness so we can become content in the understanding of just how rich our lives are.
We could strip away half of what we may now carry through our days and not even reach the outer shell of who we are at our core. Our aloha.
November is a gift to our humanity, for it keeps us more human and less contrived.

This is my mana‘o: I know these things to be true because of the evidence in my own life.
For as if aloha weren’t enough, three years ago November became the month I would publish Managing with Aloha, and my blessings would multiply by magnificent number.
MWA would ‘talk’ in its own language of intention, and it would give me an astounding gift; I would live with Mahalo, the Hawaiian value of thankfulness, connected to my work, and to my life every single day.
MWA has done much for the success of my business, but leaps more with the people it has brought into my life.

Blessings counted in smiling, caring faces are the very best kind.

To everyone who reads these words, thank you for being part of our Ho‘ohana Community, and part of my life.
I write knowing you are there, and that we are in some way connected.

Be thankful knowing how your aloha spirit will thrive and grow.
I wish you the contentment of gratitude.
I wish you simplicity and serenity.
I wish you wonder and joy.

Me ke aloha e Thanksgiving maika‘i nui,
~ Rosa Say

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My Sharing of Thankfulness: The How-To of Managing with Aloha Coaching.

• Knowing Mahalo through Appreciation
• Becoming Mahalo through Gratitude
• Sharing Mahalo through Thankfulness

Believe in your Biology!

Did you know —truly know and realize— that positive and negative is a one or the other occurrence, and not a both at the same time?

I am a very trusting reader. I will accept much of what an author says without needing proof. Foolish? I don't think so; I believe that the mana'o of a writer (mana'o is their deeply held beliefs and convictions) has enough connected experience to trump facts a good deal of the time.

Then again, it's pretty sweet to know how much our biology has its own special wisdom. As I can remember, this knowledge came to me when I read First, Break All the Rules, in which authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman speak of how the brain grows (the discussion beginning on page 80 if you have the book). They explain how from the day we are born, our child's mind "begins to reach out, aggressively, exuberantly." They say that during the first fifteen years of our lives our brain cells make connections called synapses, and in "the carving of these synaptic connections is where the drama unfolds." It is this drama that will determine our innate gifts and talents.

I've never been as inclined toward science, and normally I'll zip through those parts of a book that lay out the research done to add to a theory's credibility, but that time I did, fascinated by the whole discussion.

So this quote, found more recently in the pages of a magazine, filled me with a kind of comfort too: (the parentheses are mine) and the [brackets were in the quote itself.]

"Love (aloha) and appreciation (mahalo) are both positive emotions (and values!) And when you engage in either of them, or any other positive emotions, you cannot be simultaneously miserable. That's because the brain is not wired to possess both a positive and a negative at the same time ... In other words, you cannot be on two different streets at the same time ... [If you are a habitually negative person], (choose your attitude, and) engage the lesser-used pathways of [the] brain so that eventually [you] might have more of a positive perspective on life."
—From What Happy Women Know: How New Findings in Positive Psychology Can Change Women's Lives for the Better, by Dan Baker PhD and Cathy Greenberg PhD with Ina Yalof.

I remember the street metaphor in First, Break All the Rules too: They explain that during childhood our brains make a colossal amount of synaptic connections between cells, but eventually the brain will have to choose between them, strengthening some, and allowing weaker ones to wither away. They quote a Dr. Harry Chugani, professor of neurology at Wayne State University Medical School, likening this pruning system to a highway system:

"Roads with the most traffic get widened.
The ones that are rarely used fall into disrepair."

What does this tell us? We have a choice between being positive or negative, and our brain is wired to help us out! Quite cool.

Mental pruning for innate talent + highway widening for optimism and enthusiasm. Now THAT is some sweet scientific sugar for living with aloha!

Maybe I can learn to love science after all...

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Archive dipping;

• An Aloha Attitude of Love
• Aloha and your Thought’s Fingerprints
• Great Attitude Part Two: Own it

A message to managers:

We always have a choice between the positive and negative, and our workplaces can create an abundance of positive choices and a scarcity of negative ones. If most of the choices available to us are overwhelmingly positive they fill us with enthusiasm. We trust that more likely than not, a great result will follow, and we step forward with a great attitude.

Hawaiian Cards and Quotes

I received this beautiful card for my birthday last month, and wanted to share it with you, both for the quote it contains, and so you can check out the website of Time & Tide Design for their other selections.

This month, we live with the  Ho'omau connection to our Ho'ohana:

• An Unbeatable Combination: Ho'omau, Your Habits, and Your Ho'ohana

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I always appreciate the time that someone will spend to choose the card with the perfect sentiment. To Keala and the Team Clean Inc. 'Ohana in Business, mahalo nui loa.

When Children Sleep, Angels Whisper

What follows is a new edit to a story I had written for Talking Story on the blog’s first December 6th. Last year, I linked back to it. This year, I print a newly edited version, for my daughter had asked me to write up “the part where our Papa Angel whispers to us at night.”

This is for her, and for all of us who knew and loved my dad. Perhaps it will help you think of someone you love as your December angel too.

[The picture below is of me and my dad at my wedding. Next year I celebrate my 24th wedding anniversary.]

Hau‘oli la hanau Dad, Happy Birthday.

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December 6th will always mean just one thing to me: Today is my Dad’s birthday.

Dad is no longer with us; his was a life much too short. As we had explained to my young children the first Christmas we had without him, now sixteen years ago, heaven needs a lot of angels during this holiday season, and their Papa was one of those people who answered the call.

What we explained went something like this all the years when they were younger; now they know it by heart, so they can explain to their children one day in their own words, and with their mana‘o (what it means to them);

“The angels whisper in our ears while we are sleeping, so we dream the December dreams that reasonable people should dream right now. We want to be good, unselfish people who think with gratitude for what we have, way more than with wishfulness for what we don’t have. Angel whispers are soft and gentle, and they help our thoughts sleep well, unbothered by the noisy beating of our hearts which never sleep, and without the confusion life can bring when we’re awake. Ours should be the dreams of a baby born with all the glorious possibility of a wonderful life to come, just like the baby Jesus. Then, when we awake in the morning we are newly blessed, with the angel’s whisper mixing perfectly with our own aloha spirit. Papa is our personal angel, and because he went to heaven, his whispers can warm a lot of children’s hearts right now, not just ours.”

My dad had died two days before Thanksgiving, and those days which dutifully march between then and today, December 6th, we’ve since looked at as his ‘angel’s boot camp’ where every angel joins hands, hearts, and wings. They get the annual training they will need before our Lord sends them out to the world to help Santa, and help us, so that in turn we help each other, becoming angels on earth, practicing for the days we get our own wings.

Receiving “Thank you” with Grace

How do you handle your wrapped gifts? Do you tear into them with gleeful eagerness, or do you savor them, carefully peeling open the creased paper?

Tim Milburn has a terrific post on Joyful Jubilant Learning about how we receive, so perfectly timed for our ho‘ohana this month on mahalo, the value of thankfulness. Tim writes “It is Better to Give AND Receive.”

What I'm discovering, especially during this time of year, is how you open a gift isn't nearly as important as how you receive a gift.

I know that this is the season of giving, but at some point along the way, someone will give something to us. At some point, we will receive -- and how we receive is an opportunity to give in return.

Gratitude can be a tricky thing. Sometimes we don't want to be on the receiving end of things. We like to be givers. But we forget that the joy of giving is often super-sized by the expressions of gratitude from those whom we give to. We love to see people receive our gifts with a sense of humble appreciation, like they were never expecting anything like this.

The words “thank you” are a gift in themselves too. However have you noticed how it is one of the hardest things we do, managing to simply and sincerely say, “You’re welcome” and leave it at that?

Why is it that instead, we tend to answer, “Oh, that’s okay” or, “It was no big deal,” or “Please, don’t mention it” and ruin the spirit of giving and receiving with our carelessly blurted out retorts?  That someone gave us something worth our appreciation is way more than just “okay.” It is indeed a very “big deal,” and it is absolutely worth mentioning!

Let’s practice, for I have a lot of reasons to say “thank you” to you.

Ready to receive?

Thank you for visiting Talking Story, and for reading what I have to say. I truly do appreciate that you do.

Lū‘au and Boiled Peanuts

E komo mai e ‘ai! Come in and eat!

Ready? Time for that glorious four-day weekend of blissfully ignored diets and gratitude-charged gluttony we call Thanksgiving.

The Hawaiian experience is one that is big on food, and as you might imagine, Thanksgiving is an American holiday we embraced with open arms long before our Statehood in 1959. The Hawaiian feast is called the Lū‘au, so named for the taro tops (in the picture) that are traditionally served at them. We have Baby Lū‘au (the first birthday celebration is a huge affair here), Graduation Lū‘au, Wedding Lū‘au, Retirement Lū‘au … all major life markers, and every other excuse for a party in between; Housewarming Lū‘au, Beach Lū‘au, Super Bowl Lū‘au … you get the idea.

With a nod to our ethnic melting pot in the islands, American loyalties, and this ingrained love of food, our Thanksgiving Lū‘au goes completely through the roof. Our menu planning is simple: On Thanksgiving any shred of Julia Child/Martha Stewart menu sensibility and designer flair is summarily banished. We cook and serve everyone’s favorites. If someone sitting at the table loves it, it goes perfectly with everything else; it is our ‘ohana-spirited gourmet Thanksgiving Lū‘au. I am paying for it for weeks afterwards in extra miles added to my morning run, and it is worth it.

More often than not, it starts with my husband’s version of Boiled Peanuts about two days before (he makes them with Chinese five-spice). On Thanksgiving Day, the TV WILL be set for football, doncha know, and there absolutely must be boiled peanuts and that easy Hidden Valley Ranch dip for the chips. So last night, I returned home late from the airport (and about an hour of mechanically challenged flight delays, sitting on the tarmac) and walked in the door to that enticing anise smell of the five-spice. In his own, oh so predictable way, hubby had announced that no matter what I was coming home from, Thanksgiving had already arrived. My airport-induced travel annoyances magically disappeared, instantly forgotten.

And so my friends, it is time to start our cooking. I’ve just now returned from the market and my final shopping for the rest of our favorites. Filipino-style banana lumpia will have its place of honor, side by side with Vovo’s Portuguese-style coleslaw. Included are the Thanksgiving traditions we eat for remembering the family we’ve been so blessed with. For instance, we eat that true Betty Crocker version of candied yams with marshmallow just because it was my dad’s must-have for the holiday. When we eat it, he’s still at the table with us.

You’ll be there too, when we bow our heads and say mahalo for all who make our lives so profoundly precious everyday. I’ll eat some boiled peanuts for you, okay?

From the archives; It is a day for Thanksgiving

Holiday Learning Shout-out; Let us hear from you!

Update: Our JJLN Open Call for Thanksgiving Day was posted yesterday - did you have a chance to click in? Here’s a direct clicker for you:

Thankful for Learning; Thanksgiving 2006

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Original Post:

I think learning might be like learning to fly.

I can’t fly of course, but I feel I can imagine it, and I do imagine it is sort of like this feeling.

I’ve felt like I’ve sprouted wings since September, and I am quite sure it is due in large part to the turbo-charged energy infused into the learning of our Ho‘ohana Community.

There’s been a host of electronic stuff for me, such as Skype (finally!), BlogTalk Radio with Wayne Hurlbert, collaborative writing on Google Docs and Spreadsheets, a few new ways to use Basecamp for my client’s project management, and most recently, Userplane thanks to Greg Balanko-Dickson being willing to coach me through it.

Believe it or not, I’ve also been re-learning some old tricks I’d forgotten with using Excel as a List Manager. My when-I’m-sitting-at-my-desk productivity has soared lately, and with the holidays coming up, you can bet that I’m loving it.

As busy as that all sounds, all the learning has added a lightness to my spirit; maybe that’s why I keep thinking it’s like flying. Ironically it may be that what I am learning most of all is to Let Go of certain things, for I admit to being pretty high-control by nature. “Nalu it” (to go with the flow) was such a good Ho‘ohana for me to personally practice through-out October.

What have you been learning?

How’d you feel about sharing a short sentence or two about it, with all of us at Joyful Jubilant Learning? I know that Steve, and Tim, and Blaine will be.

We have an open call posted there at JJLN called “Thankful for Learning” and you just might inspire someone to learn as you have. Here are the details;

Thankful for the Difficult

Quite unexpectedly, yet perfectly timed, this morning I find that I am thankful for several things which have proved difficult for me lately. And I do mean several. I have to wonder what I’m doing to attract them! Yet I think all this difficulty will serve to make me better. Striving to improve these things, and working in that stream of thought where I want to emerge in a different way, is good for me.

I need this feeling right now, which is one of self-reckoning with large doses of humility. Humility helps me learn certain things I don’t focus on enough in those times where I’m more bold and confident. Stepping gingerly can be mastery’s partner too. When I go through times like this, mahalo is so good to draw from. Mahalo; living in thankfulness for all the elements which make my life so precious.

Yes, this is good.